Monday, 14 July 2008

Sound bites and elevator pitches

This gloomy doorway is the exit from the kitchen at Beynac Chateau. Sixteenth century, and built on as a "modern extension," it looks as much like a torture chamber as a kitchen. It makes me feel very grateful for modern appliances!



I hear some weird and wonderful expressions around these days. I am reliably told that LOG LINES, SOUND BITES AND ELEVATOR PITCH all refer to the art of pitching your novel to an editor in the shortest number of sentences and yet still managing to make it sound riveting. "Imagine you are in an elevator and that's all the time you have to make your pitch," chirrups an American author. They should be so lucky. Don't they know that in the UK a tall building is all of eight floors and by the time you've realised who is in the lift with you, you've barely got two words out before you've arrived? If you live in London you might be luckier, I suppose. There's always the GPO tower, but then, what self-respecting editor would be fooling about there?

I saw these on a friend's blog - and howled. Thank you Ginger

APPALIACHIAN-AMERICAN (hillbilly)
BREASTED AMERICAN (babe or chick)
LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION HIGHWAY (dumb blonde)
HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE (easy)
PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION (has been around)
LOW COST PROVIDER (two-bit hooker)
VERBALLY REPETITIVE (nag)
LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY (beer gut)
OVERLY CAUCASIAN (a bad dancer)
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION (acts like a total ass)
REAR CLEAVAGE (butt crack)
FOLLICLE REGRESSION (balding)

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